Years of Misunderstanding
When Ruqyah Reveals the Truth in Marriage
You thought it was you.
For years, every argument, every emotional wound, every moment of coldness felt deliberate.
You thought your spouse knew exactly what they were doing.
And the worst part?
No one believed your side of the story.
In-laws, siblings, friends — they all assumed you were the problem.
You were “too sensitive.”
You didn’t “understand how marriage works.”
You needed to “try harder.”
But then Ruqyah enters the picture.
And suddenly, the truth unfolds.
Delayed Clarity Hurts Deeper
By the time you discover that a spiritual affliction (sihr, waswas, shayateen influence) had been manipulating your relationship, the damage has already been done.
Bad memories are locked in.
The trauma feels personal.
You’re left wondering:
How do you salvage a marriage after years of believing your spouse knowingly betrayed you?
The First Step: Spousal Acceptance
Before any healing can begin, your spouse has to accept the reality of the affliction.
This is not about blaming them.
It’s about acknowledgement.
Understanding that their actions — though influenced — caused you real harm.
Without this acceptance, every attempt to “move on” feels like gaslighting.
It’s not about holding it over their head.
It’s about giving you the validation you were denied for so long.
Extended Family: Accountability Isn’t Always Possible
What about the in-laws? The siblings who took sides?
They weren’t afflicted.
They judged you by choice.
And while you may want closure, the truth is —
Not everyone will show up for that conversation.
Ego, pride, shame, guilt — these are heavy barriers.
You can invite them to understand, but you cannot force accountability.
And you must prepare for the reality that many will never admit their part.
Boundaries Are Non-Negotiable Now
Once the truth is known, boundaries become your shield.
Extended family who refuse to acknowledge what happened?
They lose their influence in your marriage.
Friends who played both sides? They become distant associates.
This isn’t about revenge.
It’s about safeguarding the peace you fought for.
Healing Beyond Apologies
Your healing can’t depend on apologies you may never receive.
It has to be built on clarity, truth, and conscious boundaries.
As a couple, if you can rebuild on this foundation, your marriage will be stronger than ever.
But it starts with accepting that some people—family included—are not meant to be part of your healing journey.
The Hardest Truth: When Your Spouse Still Won’t Align
But what if your spouse refuses to accept the reality?
What if they acknowledge it—but still let their family dictate their views?
That’s when the marriage enters dangerous territory.
A relationship where one partner emotionally outsources decisions to toxic influences isn’t a marriage—it’s a battlefield.
Without firm boundaries, mutual loyalty, and emotional safety, you’ll be trapped in endless cycles of misunderstanding and hurt.
And if children are involved, the damage multiplies. Their sense of family, trust, and emotional security becomes collateral damage.
The Real Work—And The Hard Choices
Healing from years of misunderstanding isn’t optional. It’s urgent. Whether it’s saving the marriage or ensuring a safe path forward for you and your children, the work has to be done.
And sometimes, it comes down to three choices:
Stay and fight with clarity.
Pause and reassess.
Or part ways, knowing you’ve done what you can.
But don’t confuse silence and avoidance from your spouse or their family as a sign you’re “too much.” It’s their lack of sincerity that’s being exposed.
The Only Accountability That Truly Matters
At the end of it all, your healing isn’t tied to whether people apologise.
It’s tied to truth, to the clarity Allah grants, and to the boundaries you uphold.
Allah knew your truth when no one else did. He heard your du’as when others shut you down.
Stay firm. Keep walking with the weight of truth. It’s heavier than lies—but it’s the only weight worth carrying.
